Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..........

Yeah, sorry. Things just ain't workin' out here, or there, or anywhere.
I honestly keep considering the "easy" option. That'd be the one where I take a SHITLOAD of pills and call it a day. No one cares, or understands, or can offer any advice.
I came here to Portland (1000 miles) hoping to make a fresh start of things, but it isn't going very well.
There is nowhere in the world for me to be happy. I have been through , what, like, 22 years (?) of stinking HELL, and the only thing keeping me even halfway sane is my sense of humour, and that has worn very thin.
My buddy offered to let me and the wife come here, but since I arrived I have had like maybe three decent nights sleep.
The kid, their kid, drives me fuckin' nuts. I don't even know what to say on that matter. Understandably it's a touchy issue. Let's just say she gets away with murder compared to ANY child I have known (bearing in mind that I have made it a point to avoid children for most of my life). She does things that are at best, unsafe, and at worst, potentially deadly. If you don't give the kid her way, she throws a fucking fit, yet if I even suggest, as carefully as I can, that she's, lacking discipline (spoiled), well... as I said, a touchy issue.
I'm ready to pack my shit and get the hell out of here. My wife can do what she wants- I don't care.
I don't have enough gas to get out of the county probably, so what do I do? Having not slept properly in over three months, I don't think I'm thinking all that clearly.

I'm just so goddamned sick of it all.

Thanks for listening.

A bad case of the "fuck-it's"

Not feelin' so great today.
In fact I'm hating my existence. Today is my father's birthday. He probably hardly even knows it though. Almost precisely a year ago, he suffered some sort of cardiac event, which stopped his heart, and breathing, thus screwing up his brain/memory.
He just got secretly shuttled to San Jose California to stay with his sister, my aunt, who is taking care of him. He had been in a treatment facility in Florida, but all they did (for 5,000 dollars a month) was to let him sleep for the most part. My aunt figured, hell, he could do that at home, and for free.
Any way, that's not what has me down. It's the Portland employment situation, my health (or lack thereof) and our finances (non-existent). We can afford maybe two packs of cigarettes, or a half-tank of gas and then we're busted-FLAT busted.
My wife just got an interview at, of all places, a fucking sex shop. We do that tomorrow. And there went the gas in the tank. I just popped two and a half pain pills, just because. There are indeed times I consider taking a lot more than that. A LOT more.
Life goes on, and on, and on, and...it just never really gets any better it seems.

Them pills ought to be kickin' in here soon, and then with any luck, I wont give a shit about anything.

Portland

I'm so fucking happy to be out of Temecula (CA) I can't tell you.
However, the job hunting has been somewhat discouraging to say the least. The wife was hoping that her 22 years of bookstore experience would make landing a job at (The world famous) Powell's Books a cinch. To date, she has had three interviews with Powell's and no bites. I have had even less luck than her. All job applications are done online these days, so you fill out an application, and shoot it off into the void, and then hope to get a response. There are so many people looking for work right now that it's rough for someone like me, with little experience, I mean, some retail, some food service, but being a songwriter (with writer's-block no less) and an aspiring animator, prospects are not so shiny.
I did finish a song, and that's pretty impressive I guess. I'll share it with you now:

“NOW HERE I AM”

David P Cohen Jr/Vic Demise

Never gonna be what you want to be

not until you want to be you

And all the disappointment that's haunted me

isn't even close to the truth

And I don't really know when it dawned on me

maybe when I wrote this tune

The only thing that ever belonged to me... ...and that would be the moment

-and I don't even own it

Now I've gone and blown it

the moment's passing

I think of all the people I used to be

and I don't even know who I am

Guess I'm gonna be who I choose to be

Trouble is I've got no plans

Now I'm the only one that's abusing me

cause I'm the only one who can

Try to keep ahead of what used to be... ...and focus on the moment

but I can never hold it

Now I've gone and blown it

the moment's passing

and I don't want to be here now

No I- don't want to be here now

Now here I am

Better not to think about history

Shouldn't oughtta waste any time

Tomorrow is an unsolved mystery

Try to keep your mind on your mind

Nothin' more elusive than this to me

think about it now and you'll find

what a dirty mind-fuck your bliss can be... ...living in the moment

like you've never known it

Suddenly you've blown it

the moment's passed

and I don't want to be here now

No I- don't want to be here now

Now here I am

Intro/Chorus:

G#maj7-D7 G#maj7-D7

G#7 G7

Verse A:

Dm-Cm D#m-G Dm-Cm D#m-G

Dm-Cm D#m-G Dm-Cm D#m-

Verse B:

G Bm F C

G Bm F C

So, there.

Here's another cartoon for you kids!!

Okay, here it is. ALL 80 of my re-mastered songs:

This player will go through all 80 songs in alphabetical order.

For a better looking player, (with all the titles), go to:

http://www.archive.org/details/VicDemiseneithernorAndboth

and don't forget all the lyrics are here on this blog, somewhere.

Enjoy!!!

V.D.

Got to get this off my chest…

I went out to go pick up my wife from work, and my 1964 Dodge Dart had sunk into the soaked ground, and of course it only got worse when I tried to give it some gas…Forward…Reverse…Nothin’  (Well, actually it sank even more) Here’s a photo of my beloved car in happier days:

After digging in the mud, in the dark, with my bare hands, gettin f*ckin’ FILTHY, I gave up for the night. The wife caught a ride home with a fellow worker, and I will try again tomorrow to figure out how to get it out, without paying a tow truck.

My wife’s uncle actually has a tractor out here on the property, but the assh*le is such a tweaked-out speed freak jerk, that he would just laugh at us and our problem. I actually caught his son stealing our hot water heater this morning! Really!! Yeah, I went out to see what this odd noise was, and it was the son, (my wife’s cousin), and the water heater was actually GONE. I said, “What the hell happened to our water heater?” and he swore he didn’t know, yet about ten minutes later, he brings it back!! Can you believe this crap?  A few days ago we had to throw out a whole freezer’s worth of food that had been thawed out several times because they (The tweaker uncle and his thieving son) had messed up the electricity (don’t ask) and if that wasn’t enough, these freaks, (well the uncle freak) took the rotten food out of the dumpster, and ATE IT!! (Had I known they were gonna do that, I’d have pissed in, and on, all the food. Oh well. Next time.

By the way, everyone wants to be famous, right? So I’ll tell you their names:

This is ROBERT VINCENT ENO (Looks like he made another dumpster score! “We’re eatin’ tonight kids!!” Shame, just cause it’s in a shopping cart don’t make it groceries, just GROSS!)

and this is his son, BOBBY ENO (Following in his father’s footsteps!)

 

I do think it’s sort of mean to talk about people behind their backs like this, but frankly these jerks have been pains in the asses of both my wife and myself for over ten years now, so screw them. Really. No, screw them.

Once, the Uncle (ROBERT ENO) turned off the water during a winter freeze, and blew up our plumbing. Idiot. My wife’s cousin (BOBBY ENO) broke into our house, at least once, and stole one of my special plants, a very special, special plant. There have been so many idiotic episodes caused by these pricks and I have NEVER done ANYTHING to get back at them (yet). What really gets me, is that we’ve never done anything to them ever except be nice and civil to them despite all of their transgressions, and yet they seem to just hate me and my wife. I don’t know why, and at this point I don’t care why. I just wish they would die from eating garbage or something. I for the most part detest violence, and yet the things they do make me so angry that I have sat and thought of doing all sorts of things to them…UGLY things. Violent, nasty, twisted things. Instead I will write about them in cyberspace. (I hear that once it’s out there on the net, it’s there FOREVER. Neato!

I guess I feel a little better now.

Sometimes I doodle…

Been a while

Since no one even reads this blog, it hardly matters that I don’t keep it updated with my life’s doings and happenings etc. but I have this groovy new app(lication) that allows me to compose for this blog while offline that allows me to see how it’ll appear. Neato!

Life. Life, is a BITCH. It’s one goddamned thing after another after another. We got our beloved 1964 Dodge Dart running and it only cost about $1,100.00 and took a month and a half. The mechanic never even figured out what the problem was (LAME!) and I did a lot of the work myself. You don’t care, and I don’t blame you.

I need to make this entry more interesting, but HOW?

I could talk about how I got the clap from my wife, who got it from Jody Foster, but that would be a lie. I had been working on my cartoon, “Castle Whackula” which is now like over eight minutes long now (That took a month to do) but I took a break waiting for inspiration in regards to where the plot ought to go. I made it up as I went along, with no idea as to where the story was headed and so far so good. Now I just need to FINISH the damned thing!

Here’s a still shot from it, and one shot that’s not from it.