Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..........

Yeah, sorry. Things just ain't workin' out here, or there, or anywhere.
I honestly keep considering the "easy" option. That'd be the one where I take a SHITLOAD of pills and call it a day. No one cares, or understands, or can offer any advice.
I came here to Portland (1000 miles) hoping to make a fresh start of things, but it isn't going very well.
There is nowhere in the world for me to be happy. I have been through , what, like, 22 years (?) of stinking HELL, and the only thing keeping me even halfway sane is my sense of humour, and that has worn very thin.
My buddy offered to let me and the wife come here, but since I arrived I have had like maybe three decent nights sleep.
The kid, their kid, drives me fuckin' nuts. I don't even know what to say on that matter. Understandably it's a touchy issue. Let's just say she gets away with murder compared to ANY child I have known (bearing in mind that I have made it a point to avoid children for most of my life). She does things that are at best, unsafe, and at worst, potentially deadly. If you don't give the kid her way, she throws a fucking fit, yet if I even suggest, as carefully as I can, that she's, lacking discipline (spoiled), well... as I said, a touchy issue.
I'm ready to pack my shit and get the hell out of here. My wife can do what she wants- I don't care.
I don't have enough gas to get out of the county probably, so what do I do? Having not slept properly in over three months, I don't think I'm thinking all that clearly.

I'm just so goddamned sick of it all.

Thanks for listening.


Monkeypants said...

hey vic, heres hoping your spirits have lifted. my very beautiful brother decided it was too much and left us of his own accord. it was awful and left behind many people who cared and still miss him 10 years later. You sound really really tired and i totally get that. hang in there. it always gets better.

Anonymous said...

I always thought you were an "animated" character...BTW Parker was always right, the guitar solo in black and white did suck...

heytoad said...

Happy New Year--