Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A bad case of the "fuck-it's"

Not feelin' so great today.
In fact I'm hating my existence. Today is my father's birthday. He probably hardly even knows it though. Almost precisely a year ago, he suffered some sort of cardiac event, which stopped his heart, and breathing, thus screwing up his brain/memory.
He just got secretly shuttled to San Jose California to stay with his sister, my aunt, who is taking care of him. He had been in a treatment facility in Florida, but all they did (for 5,000 dollars a month) was to let him sleep for the most part. My aunt figured, hell, he could do that at home, and for free.
Any way, that's not what has me down. It's the Portland employment situation, my health (or lack thereof) and our finances (non-existent). We can afford maybe two packs of cigarettes, or a half-tank of gas and then we're busted-FLAT busted.
My wife just got an interview at, of all places, a fucking sex shop. We do that tomorrow. And there went the gas in the tank. I just popped two and a half pain pills, just because. There are indeed times I consider taking a lot more than that. A LOT more.
Life goes on, and on, and on, just never really gets any better it seems.

Them pills ought to be kickin' in here soon, and then with any luck, I wont give a shit about anything.

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